Personal Finance News Saturday 1/19
Ask Farnoosh: When Couples’ Spending Habits Clash
Angelique asks: "My husband seems to always over-spend … on things we really don't need. How do I get him to start a budget with me? This year we will be building a home."
Hi Angelique,
It’s no secret that opposites attract and it’s especially true that savers often marry spenders. In fact a 2009 academic survey found that people with opposing emotional reactions toward money (e.g. spendthrift vs. tightwad) are attracted to one another. While that can be exciting at first, over time these differences can strain a relationship.
Mary Claire Allvine, a certified financial planner and co-author of “The Family CFO: The Couple's Business Plan for Love and Money![]()
,” suggests encouraging your husband to budget with you by having a discussion about your 2013 goals, which in this case is to build a home. With the new year upon us, now’s a great time to get down to business.
“Enter the conversation by orienting it around goals that you both agree on and how some spending deviates from that,” she says. “The couples that have the least arguments about money aren’t always the rich ones. They’re the ones that have common financial goals.” Through this, too, your husband will hopefully see that you’re trying to be a team player, as opposed to pick at his faults.
To make budgeting simple and effective, try to automate as many recurring bills as you’re comfortable with (e.g. housing, car payments, utilities, etc.), along with an agreed amount of savings going toward the new home — say, 5% to 10% of each of your salaries per month. This approach reduces the chances of money being frivolously wasted and you can sleep calmly at night knowing that even if your husband does go out and splurge on a new toy, you have your financial bases covered. “Once your bills are paid and you’ve set aside money for your goals, there’s not much to argue about,” says Allvine. (For more on making smooth automatic transactions, see my answer to a reader’s question last week here).
And as for any new toys your husband may be tempted to buy, perhaps both of you should set aside money in your budget designated for those “nice to have” purchases. Decide what would be an appropriate percentage to allocate to your individual accounts and from there, enjoy spending without the guilt.
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